The very foundation of this site was always meant to be a study in adaptation. When deprived of the basest form of communication, (language) can the “magic” moving images prevail. How much can one intuit and understand about a film solely from non-verbal storytelling? I proposed it could take you pretty far and so far I have not been relieved of this notion. Even when jumping into the complex sci-fi nonsense of “Shin Kamen Rider”, I stood resolute and was able to (for the most part) fend off the confusion and follow what was going on, if only in broad strokes.
However, it strikes me in recent weeks that every idea needs a stretch test. An upper limit needs to be established if I am to truly see just how far an understanding of basic cinematic language can take me. So I devised an experiment; a wickedly morbid and vile experiment. One that would send shivers down the spine of even the most intrepid of letterboxd users. I would view the latest entry in the Fast & Furious Franchise … in Japanese. *pause for dramatic effect*.
Ok, obviously this is not the herculean quest into the abyss I’m selling it as, so let me explain my process. In my life, I have only seen 3 entries into Vin Diesel’s fabled Fast saga. I have seen 1st and 3rd entries, which as far as I can tell, have essentially no bearing on the current storyline. The only tangentially relevant Fast film I have seen would be Furious 7. This of course being the final entry featuring the series co-lead Paul Walker. I remember enjoying it, but beyond one or two exceptional set pieces, nothing about the film felt inclined to stick around in my long-term memory.
What I mean to say with all this preamble is that I am almost completely disconnected from the comings and goings; the triumphs and the heartbreaks of the Fast Family. It never concerned me. This disconnection made it the perfect testing bed for my purposes. I would be fairly lost by this picture if I viewed it in my native tongue, much less in a language I’m still in the early stages of learning. I knew I was going to be, at the very least, some degree of confused throughout the entirety of the film. I just needed to see how much.
With my target set, I quickly went to work, planning my experiment. First, I made vitally sure to avoid as much marketing as I could. I closed my eyes when previews popped up online or before other movies I was seeing; Second, on the day before I would purposefully get as little sleep as possible, without dying at work the following day. This was to make sure I was sufficiently groggy while viewing the film; Finally, I determined to drink more than my film of water the day of AND avoid using the restroom before entering the theater. You see, I will always, no matter the circumstances, even if I had never seen a drop of water in 3 days; use the restroom before entering a theater. The idea of missing part of a film due to bladder-related inconveniences terrifies me to my core. By neglecting such a sacred ritual I condemned myself to having to get up during some random section of the film in order to not moisten the theater seats.
All this prep work was done with one singular goal in mind. To enhance just how little I would understand this film. This was a quest to see how completely fucking lost a person can be while watching a movie. I was so dedicated to this goal that even subconsciously my mind was working overtime for me. On the day in question, my subconscious mind had the brilliant idea to accidentally leave movie-watching glasses at home. A truly brilliant move; totally was not just me being a dunderhead.
So what were the results of my valiant efforts? How does the film hold up to my razor-sharp scrutiny? The answer.. not great; turns out that when you go out of your way to view a movie in the worst possible state of mind, the results are, unsurprisingly, less than ideal. In fairness, I don’t believe this movie was all that terrific on its own merit. However, there were so many subplots happening here and an absolute smorgasbord of characters I did not know, that not being able to understand anyone, really put me at a disadvantage. I was never fully lost, which is a testament to my above statement about the power of the cinematic language, but there was never a point in the film where I felt all that confident about what was happening or what the characters were trying to do.
To break it down, I have created a list of the 5 main sticking points I was able to take from this film. These were either the most interesting elements or the things that threw me the most for a loop. Starting with …
The Japanese Dub
Besides the wild stunts the series is known for, this was maybe the most entertaining aspect of the experience. Admittedly this is mainly due to the male voices, although Yuko Kaida as Michelle Rodriguez’s Letty is quite enjoyable as well. The Fast franchise takes much of its inspiration from 80-90s American action cinema. Mainly the hyper-virile machismo-soaked personas of its main characters. While most other modern action franchises go for the charismatic rogue archetype, Vin Diesel and company harken back to the roided up impossibly muscular characters of films such as Commando or Rocky IV.
The translation to Japanese overemphasizes this fact to the extreme. Every male’s voice is deep and gnarled; packed with the menace of a 60-year yakuza chief who has smoked a pack of Seven Stars every day since he was 13. This works for characters like Vin Diesel’s Dom Torreto and Jason Statham’s Marcus Shaw. However, there is a bit of a disconnect when stapled onto obvious comedic relief like Tyrese Gibson’s Roman Pearce. Especially when I don’t know the particulars of the jokes. The obvious mugging to the camera combined with the cartoonishly masculine voice creates a bizarre contrast that while not technically the right decision, is still entertainingly outlandish. It adds to the mood and could only work in a group of films as ridiculous as these.
The Music
Fast & Furious and its hip-hop soundtracks exist in a perfectly symbiotic relationship. Modern, slick, just the right amount of goofy energy to both perfectly fit the other like a glove.
This was the only bit of English I got in the film, so it helped ground me in all the chaos. Non-diegetic soundtracks are a lost art, with most notable soundtracks in recent memory needing in-universe justifications. These over-the-top sci-fi blockbusters have paradoxically relied on naturalistic filmmaking when being completely green-screened. Fast & Furious bucks this trend with ostentatious editing and a vibrant color palette. This section is on the music, but it is meant to represent how the film can use its, at this point retro, early 2000s style to both entertain and efficiently tell its story.
Look at all these Stars!!!
It’s quite impressive how stacked Diesal has been able to make the cast of these films. Most of the celebrities are bit parts, presumably so they don’t need to be on set for multiple months, but regardless it’s quite the who’s who of contemporary Hollywood megastars. The problem I ran across was not really understanding who was new, who was returning, and what anyone’s relation to each other was. I know Jason Momoa hates Vin Diesel, but I couldn’t tell you precisely why. I’m also 85% sure John Cena is Vin’s brother, which is funny considering how much alike they don’t look.
Besides that, I am pretty confused whenever these people pull up. Charlize Theron is there and apparently, she was a bad guy, but also shes helping everyone out now. Brie Larson is a member of the Illuminati but is also a good guy, and maybe she’s Kurt Russel’s daughter. (Again two actors that look nothing alike.) The most impactful one for me was honestly Rita Moreno as Dom’s mother (?). I don’t if she was in previous films, but part of me hopes this was her first one. It would just be a really good gag to ret-con Rita Moreno into being Dom’s mother the entire time, and to just drop this information on the audience without warning, at the beginning of the film.
Now I will admit my confusion is purely a result of the bizarre way I viewed this film. I assume the fast fanbase knows who everyone is and applauded whenever they showed up. I’m just the buzzkill left dumbstruck as to why Jason Statham is here and whether I’m supposed to like or hate him.
The Sub-plots
*Here we venture into spoilers for the remainder of the review. Reader be warned.*
This is where the lack of language based context started to majorly affect enjoyment. Early in the film, The cast gets separated into four groups after a job goes sideways in Rome. I am not clear on what they were doing in Rome or why, but that is beside the point. The problem is that confusion extends to the rest of the film as well. Letty is arrested by the Illuminati and Vin Diesel’s son is on the run with John Cena. That makes sense, I understand why they need to be separated from the rest of the cast.
The problem is the other two groups. Dom heads to Brazil to hunt down Jason Momoa; while Ludacris and friends go to London to… recruit Jason Statham… maybe? Everything was so expository, that without perfectly understanding the conversation, I had no inkling of what the main goals and motivations were.
This was the feeling I was after, this is why I embarked on this Fast X journey in the first place. It was a quest to experience total confusion while watching. I wanted to see just how lost I can be. There are so many characters and so many subplots, involving so many location changes, that I just gave up trying to make heads or tales of it all. This is the state of mind I was seeking, and it was incredibly boring. Mostly because The Han/Roman/Ludacris section was mainly conversations that I couldn’t understand between characters that I did not know. On top of that, it does not lead to anything tangible by the end. Complete cinematic dead air as far as I could tell.
The Ending
Now comes the finale. The cherry on top of the confusion sundae. The previous issues can squarely be placed under my fault, here we have an undeniably unforced error on the film’s record. Many Fast fans know that this is the first film in a planned three film finale. As such it ends on a cliffhanger.
Dom and his son are at the bottom of a dam with Jason Momoa about to blow said dam up and wash them away. Not only that but Dom’s team and brother John Cena have supposedly died in the ensuing conflict. The stakes are high, right?
The problem is that we have spent the last two hours (and supposedly 9 movies) getting out of these impossible death defying ordeals. There is nothing special about this one. I have no idea why THIS was the cliffhanger to end on. The same goes for John Cena’s “sacrifice.” I don’t believe for a second he’s actually dead, but that’s not the problem. The problem is I don’t know why anyone in the movie does either. This whole film, the entire cast has been shrugging off much more dangerous stunts than this one. Why would anyone be worried about Cena here?
The Fast & the Furious just isn’t a franchise you can build cliffhangers on. There is not enough actual plot. No characters stay dead as evidenced by Gal Gadot’s return in the ending. It just feels awkward like the writers stopped once they hit 200 pages instead of finding a natural ending point.
It’s as if I just ended this essay here without any sort of wrap-up or conclusion.